Being stuck and unable to change your life is painful. It’s similar to living your life in a straightjacket, feeling powerless and trapped, unable to escape the tight hold it has over you. The resulting energy of ‘stuckness’ creates stagnancy and a lack of vitality in your life. These low vibration energies can seriously affect your health and well-being.
What is the cause of your ‘stuckness’?
Your physical body automatically functions to provide homeostasis. Your lungs breath air, your heart pumps blood, your digestive system processes food. All of these critical processes happen without you having to do a thing. Your mental body is the same. It has a range of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are typical for you, based on your life experiences. These thoughts, feelings and behaviors are so familiar they direct your decision making automatically, maintaining a sense of safety and comfort in your daily life.
These familiar habits are held within your comfort zone, and ruled by your subconscious. It doesn’t matter how many courses you take, or seminars you attend, the initial enthusiasm you experience toward change can dissipate quickly, and the cause of your ‘stuckness’ may have you give up on your dream before you even begin. Every time you try to step out from the familiar and into something new, your subconscious raises an alarm in an attempt to maintain homeostasis. It recognizes your behavior is not typical and resists the new action by initiating fear and discomfort. The fear causes us to return to the familiar feeling, thought, or behavior that is considered ‘safe’ and within the zone of comfort. This is why it is so difficult for you to create change in your life.
You may have a strong desire to change your life. Perhaps you decide to try meditating every morning, but find you are immediately distracted by mindlessly scrolling through social media, convincing yourself you need more sleep, or deciding to make your morning cup of coffee. These distractions are your subconscious trying to keep you in your comfort zone. Expanding your awareness, and understanding the cause of your past failures at change, can make a difference the next time you attempt to try something new.
Knowing it is your choice to either follow your mind chatter and pull back to the memorized you, which feels safe and familiar, or to consciously step out in a new way, aligning with what you want in your life, is completely up to you! No one else can do this for you.
Here are the steps I offer my clients as a guide to move through change and get unstuck:
- Set an intention – Be clear on what you want to achieve. Write it down!
- Decide on the first small step you need to take and take it
- Self-doubt often creeps in (after the initial surge of excitement that follows a decision to change) A wash of negative chatter from your past may arise that create fear and prevent you from taking that first step. Here are a few that I hear frequently;
“I always fail – I’m just lazy – I’m not good enough – It’s too late – I can’t change – I’ll never succeed”
These thoughts are simply your subconscious trying to keep you stuck in the same place
- Taking your first small, but powerful, step toward change will most likely feel uncomfortable, because it is new and outside of your comfort zone. Do not let the discomfort and resistance stop you. Bring conscious awareness to the discomfort and trust this is exactly how you are supposed to feel. I call this the burn!
- Tap into the physical heaviness and discomfort you feel in your body as you experience your own unique ‘stuckness’. Take a few seconds to breathe and observe the sensation you are experiencing until it dissipates. Recognize how familiar this sensation is for you. Practice sitting and breathing into the discomfort until it becomes very familiar and not so uncomfortable. Become aware that your comfort zone is actually your discomfort zone!
- You have the power to choose, to be in charge of your life. It’s time to make a decision. You can either choose to ignore the negative chatter (that wants you to remain stuck in your comfort zone) OR take the first step toward your new intention
- Once you have successfully taken your first step take time to recognize how good it feels to empower yourself and make a different choice. You are acting as your own authority, and have chosen a new path. Well done!
- Return to step 2.
Every time you choose to continue moving toward your new intention it becomes more of a routine. Eventually a new habit is formed that feels familiar and safe. Take time to recognize and honor the growth you have created. You are on your new path to freedom!